


In Which Bobby is Domestic and Sam Obtains Some Serious Blackmail Material

by queertyuiop



Series: Terrible Two 'Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Kid Castiel/Kid Dean Winchester, Kid Fic, M/M, Witch Curses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 08:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2381003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queertyuiop/pseuds/queertyuiop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "In Which Sam Babysits Two Terrifying Children." Dean and Cas are cursed to become children, and Bobby acts as their father figure while they wait for it to wear off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Bobby is Domestic and Sam Obtains Some Serious Blackmail Material

 

Sam was on the road headed toward Nashville when he got a text message swiftly followed by a call from Bobby.

“What is it now?” he asked once he picked up. He’d received two similar calls the day before, and he honestly didn’t want to hear any more bitching about what the boys were doing. Bobby had told him to go on this hunt alone, swearing up and down that he could take care of the two nuisances without his help.

“Did you get the picture I just sent ya?” Bobby asked him, and Sam rolled his eyes as he pulled over on the side of the road so he could check the message without ending up a pile of scrap metal that Dean would someday, whenever he grew back to his normal size, kill him for making provided he didn’t die in the crash.

The photo was taken on Bobby’s cellphone, and it was of Dean and Cas bent over a long sheet of...well, what looked like a bedsheet...with their hands and wrists absolutely covered in various colors of fingerpaints. Cas was hard at work making a house that looked impressively like Bobby’s, and Dean was drawing little stick figures beside the house representing himself, Castiel, Bobby, and Sam. He could tell who was who because stick-Bobby was wearing a cap, stick-Sam was a giant, and stick-Dean and Castiel were holding hands.

“Wow,” he said into the receiver. “Looks like you’ve got a couple of Picassos there. Just don’t let them mess up their new clothes, alright? It took me forever to get their sizes right.” He didn’t say it, but he was thinking that this was seriously the best time of Dean’s life. He’d never gotten the chance to be a kid, and from what he could tell Castiel hadn’t either. Right now was probably working wonders for their psyches, even if they had Bobby as a father figure.

Maybe especially because they had Bobby as a father figure.

Said father figure swore loudly and told him he’d have to call back, because the boys had apparently taken their painting to the level of mural-making and attacked the kitchen wall. Sam just laughed and hung up, shaking his head as he pulled back out onto the road.

-

Bobby let the phone ring four times before getting desperate. On the sixth ring he sighed upon hearing Sheriff Mills - well, Jody - pick up.

“Hey there, Sheriff. This is Bobby Singer…” he began a tad awkwardly. “Um, I’ve sort of got a situation out here at the house, and I’d appreciate it if you’d come by. No need to bring your gun or anything...it’s more like a...well, I’m just gonna have to explain it when you get here.”

The “situation,” as he’d described it, was that the boys had somehow gotten into the locked drawer of snack foods he’d started keeping since they’d shrunk (damn Dean and his remaining lockpicking skills) and had eaten enough sugar to drive them up a wall. Literally. Castiel was sitting on top of the bookshelf in the living room, how he didn’t know, and Dean was running around in circles pretending to be a racecar driver.

Bobby took a beer out of the fridge and sat at the kitchen table with it, deciding to avoid the situation until Jody arrived or one of them needed to go to the hospital.

It didn’t take long for her to arrive: he heard the sirens coming up the driveway and knew she must’ve taken his request very seriously. Hopefully she didn’t come in with her gun...he didn’t want the kids near any kind of weapon, especially hyped up. He went to the door amidst screams of “YEAH, POLICE! WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO!” and rolled his eyes as he opened it.

“So, I guess you could hear my ‘situation’ from all the way up the road,” he said loudly to overcome the sounds of Dean’s now-police cruiser. The sheriff looked around him, spotting the boys and giving him a look that plainly asked what the hell was going on.

“You’re babysitting now? Is that really wise?” she asked incredulously, nodding to the beer in his hand. Bobby sighed. “Trust me, I’m stone cold sober. You’re gonna need one of these too. They picked the lock on the snack drawer and ate their weight in sugar...one of ‘em is up on the bookshelf, and of course Dean’s running around screechin’ like a banshee.” He didn’t mention that he’d heard that screech and Dean’s voice could probably imitate it quite well right now if he wanted. He hoped that didn’t happen.

Jody stepped inside and took a deep breath. It had been a while since she had to act like a mom, but she could do this. She could take care of children, even if she had no idea who they were. She walked into the living room, carefully avoiding Dean’s path of destruction, and walked up to the bookshelf. “Hi there,” she said, looking up at the cute little thing perched on top of the furniture. “I’m Jody. What’s your name?”

“My name is Castiel,” came the reply. “I am an angel of the Lord.”

Her brows furrowed slightly. “Is that so? Well, Castiel, why don’t you come on down from there and you can tell me more about this angel business.”

“It is not for humans to know the business of my Father,” said Castiel with eyes wide and staring owlishly from the excess of sugar. “Heaven and Hell are set apart, and only the dead are meant to access them.”

Jody backed up slightly and turned around to look at Bobby, eyes slightly wider than they’d been before that little enlightening conversation.

“I think I’ll take that drink now…”

-

“So, let me get this straight,” she said while nursing her beer, “angels are real, demons are real, and that kid over there is one of the former?”

Bobby made a face and did a ‘so-so’ gesture. “Well, not exactly. He’s not a kid. Or at least he used to not be. Dean wasn’t, either, but you’ve met him before. Well...you’ve met him as an adult. He’s one of the Winchesters. Those two got hit with a curse that de-aged ‘em quite a few years - a few millennia in Cas’s case I guess - and we’ve sort of been waiting on it to wear off. So far, no luck.”

Jody slowly nodded. “I see...and you’ve been taking care of them like they’re your own?” She leaned an elbow on the table and barely winced at the loud whoop that Dean gave once Castiel was back down on the ground (how, she didn’t know...could he fly?). “That’s pretty nice of you, if completely illegal. Then again, I guess two kids their age can’t just suddenly exist on record.”

The boys ran past them and out the kitchen door to play in the yard, and she stood from the table. “Why don’t I go see what they’re up to?” she suggested, quietly making her way to the door and out.

Dean had climbed on the hood of an old rusted-out car at the bottom of a pile, and was in the process of pulling Castiel up with him when Jody spotted them.

“Boys,” she sighed and hurried over, grabbing one under each arm and carrying them back toward the house. “No more playing outside for right now, alright? Run around as much as you want to inside, but it’s too unsafe out here.”

“But,” Dean protested, “we have to throw the One Ring into the fiery pit of Mount Doom!” He kicked a little bit, but once he was set down on the porch he stilled and just pouted at her.

“Well, one doesn’t simply walk into Mordor,” she joked, turning them around and ushering them back inside. “We can figure out another way to destroy that ring if you want, but Mount Doom is out of the question.”

-

Later that evening, when the boys were tucked safely into bed, Jody prepared to leave for the night.

“Well,” she said as she lingered by the door, “it’s been fun. Strange, as always, but fun.” She chuckled. “If you need any more help with your little hellions, just let me know alright?” With that and a smile she was out the door and heading back to her car, and Bobby was left feeling like the day had been productive in some way he hadn’t foreseen.

-

Sam returned the next morning early, having finished the hunt pretty quickly and feeling the need to be back at home as soon as possible. He’d driven through the night, so he was pretty well exhausted, but as soon as the boys heard the Impala pulling up the driveway they fled the breakfast table and sprinted outside, one clinging to each leg and nearly knocking Sam flat on the ground. He managed to hold himself up, though, swinging his duffel onto his back and slowly lifting one leg at a time until he’d climbed the porch steps and entered the house. The boys scampered off and he just gave Bobby a weak grin.

“No one’s maimed or dead, I see,” he said with a yawn. Bobby just nodded and offered him a plate of breakfast, which he declined in favor of heading to the guest room and flopping down on the bed to sleep.

-

He was woken a few hours later (too few, in his opinion) by bony knees on his chest and poking at his face. It was Cas again, prodding at him upon Dean’s obvious insistence, as his brother was standing by the bed with his arms crossed. He had one of Bobby’s old (like 70s old) neckties wrapped around his neck and tied with what appeared to be a couple of dandelions from the yard stuck in the knot. Cas, he noticed, was wrapped head to toe in a white bedsheet. He looked like he was ready to play the role of the Virgin Mary or something, and when Sam looked at him funny the angel just waved a bouquet of dandelions and other garden weeds in his face.

“We require your services,” he said simply, sliding off him and standing beside Dean who was tapping his foot now.

“We wanna get married, and you’re the one who has to do it ‘cause Uncle Bobby’s asleep,” his brother said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sam couldn’t even be bothered by the fact that he’d been woken before he was ready, smiling at the two and nodding.

“Alright, alright. I’m up. Where do we want to perform this ceremony?” he asked, and he was immediately led out to the front yard where Dean crawled up on the hood of the Impala and pulled Cas up after him. Sam almost protested, for Dean’s sake, but he figured that it was his car and he could do just about anything he wanted with it. Even use it as a platform for marrying a miniaturized angel of the Lord.

The ceremony was short, but sweet, with custom vows that consisted of “you’re awesome” from Dean and “I like you” from Cas. Sam performed the ceremony to the best of his ability, despite having never really been in church for any length of time, but it seemed to satisfy the two and pretty soon they were sharing what was probably the most picturesque and childishly adorable kiss Sam had ever witnessed. He whipped out his phone and took a picture before they could separate, the click alerting Dean to something being off.

“What are you doing, Sammy?” he asked, crossing his arms again but still holding onto Cas’s hand with one of his own.

“Oh, I thought you’d want a wedding photographer too,” he said like it made all the sense in the world. “Most people like that these days, you know.”

Dean nodded, the explanation satisfying him, then put an arm around Cas’s sheet-clad waist and practically beamed for the wedding photo. Sam took another, then helped the two down off the car and back to the house.

Bobby had woken from his nap on the sofa while they were performing the ceremony, and he looked the two over for a minute before staring down at Cas particularly confused.

“What the hell are you wearin’ a sheet for, boy?” he asked in a somewhat gruff tone.

Dean interrupted before Cas could answer. “We needed a bride, and it wasn’t gonna be me...duh…”

Castiel just nodded along, and Bobby chuckled and took them into the kitchen for a glass of chocolate milk each. His wedding present, he called it.

-

Later, Sam walked by the bedroom Dean and Cas were sharing and looked in to see Bobby sitting on the edge of the bed, an old book in his hands as he told the two a story so they’d go to sleep. Sam just smiled, thinking that maybe this curse was doing them all a little bit of good.


End file.
